‘CLEVER STUPID’ is a memoir about coming to terms with a different mind, coming of age online, and living life out of order.
I did my first journalism before I could legally drink, but was old enough to be a mother before I passed my driving test. I was always clever when it came to words and stupid when it came to everything else. Although, strangely, I didn’t find the word to explain why until my early twenties, when I was diagnosed with Dyspraxia while at university. Or the help to deal with it until my early thirties, when, too broken-headed and hearted to write, I discovered I could run. For years, I grappled with ambitions I could never quite live up to, and the question of what was holding me back. My wonky brain led to anxiety and depression, an endless search for support, and a constant belief everyone else was better at living than I was – before being proved wrong in the most emphatic way possible. In the background to it all was the internet – from LiveJournal and Xanga to Facebook and Twitter – where a generation of young people arrived in search of understanding; creating just as many problems as it solved…
CLEVER STUPID has been supported by The Arts Council through The Literary Consultancy and New Writing South. It needs some more editing and time to breathe, and I’ve parked it for later while I concentrate on fiction, as recommended by a couple of agents. But I’d love to hear from any agents or anyone in publishing with an interest in Dyspraxia.